By Kiki Keane
Boy! Left to my own devices (Rachel is away on a retreat), I have become even lazier than normal. Rachel is away one day and I fall down on my job. I decided that Journey 2, The Golden Girls, a trip to the library and surfing the Web for adventure books was a far better use of my time than a blog post. Sorry.
Here’s my thought/question of the day:
Have you ever been slapped in the face by the words in a book? Did those words inspire you or push you to make you change your life, or at least part of your life?
I have. It happened last Friday. The book itself is nothing special. I wouldn’t have even picked it up if it wasn’t this months pick for my book club. Bloodland, by Alan Glynn (Limitless), is a suspense novel about an unemployed journalist who is writing a book about a dead celebrity, which leads him to some nefarious dealings of some powerful, shady people. It wasn’t so much the words that made me slap my head and say “Duh,” rather it was a scene. A man, Rundle, is anxious. He should be. Everything he has worked for could come crashing down around him at any moment. It turns out that the anxiety is from fear of losing control. I read that scene and I thought, “F**k!” My situation is nothing like Rundle’s. I’m not afraid of losing control or losing everything. The Duh/F**k moment was the realization that what I have been experiencing that last eight weeks is not nerves, but anxiety. And what I experienced last week was a full blown attack. I have never actually been sick before going to work. I have never dreaded walking out my door in the morning. I have never had to fake a smile. Until last week, that is. I thought I could handle it. I thought I could live through it. It was only for 23 weeks, after all. But I couldn’t. I started to hate people. Not, the people-can-be-so-annoying kind of hate, but the burning, rage-filled hate. And when Rachel became the optimistic one in the group, I knew something had to be done. So, I quit.
The good news is that I don’t hate people anymore. I trust them less, but I don’t hate them. Also, I’m back to being plain old nervous about not making enough money for my trip and falling flat on face, instead of nursing an ulcer. Bad news: back to the Want Ads.
Just an FYI: A new episode of Richard Engel’s Hidden Planet has been released on the Rock Center iPad app. It will be on the website next week. The current episode is about the Saqqara plateau, Egypt’s oldest pyramid complex. Good stuff!